Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
