My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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