There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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