im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
