well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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