Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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