he puts the penis in happiness.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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