there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
