Porn is love you can see.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
There r osticjed everywhere
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
