i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
