dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Michael Bay diarrhea
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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