Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
