so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
