Nicole vs. Life
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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