Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
