This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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