Porn is love you can see.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
