I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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