see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
