I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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