Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
