So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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