My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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