i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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