I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
