i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
