apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
