like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
