shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
