nut hugger
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
