if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
