a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
