Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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