i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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