she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
