I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
