As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
