he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
