Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
