If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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