You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
