Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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