Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
