I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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