Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
God, I missed his penis.
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