Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
