dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
