I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
