TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
