he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
