isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Randomize
