I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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