It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
two words: eviction party
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
