Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Randomize
